


what is parenthood, if it's not scarring your children with stories of your youth?

by JaeRianL



Series: agents of fluff 2020 [21]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Dynamics, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Parent Melinda May, Parent Phil Coulson, Romantic Fluff, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27683767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaeRianL/pseuds/JaeRianL
Summary: Mel would have liked to preface this by saying she had genuinely forgotten that “the kids” were in the common room with her and Phil, and so could not be blamed for any proclaimed mental scarring she inflicted upon the young agents unintentionally. But that hadn’t stopped any of them from gagging after finding out the meaning behind the comment she’d made to him without even thinking about it. And it probably wouldn’t have spiralled out of control had it not been for the fact that her husband is an absolute idiot who couldn’t face off against the power of his “daughters” desires to know more.
Relationships: Maria Hill & Melinda May, Phil Coulson & Leo Fitz & Melinda May & Jemma Simmons & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Series: agents of fluff 2020 [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020175
Comments: 12
Kudos: 48
Collections: Agents of Fluff 2020





	what is parenthood, if it's not scarring your children with stories of your youth?

**Author's Note:**

> This crosses off the squares Philinda & Inside Jokes on the fluff bingo cards!

Mel would have liked to preface this by saying she had genuinely forgotten that “the kids” were in the common room with her and Phil, and so could not be blamed for any proclaimed mental scarring she inflicted upon the young agents unintentionally. But that hadn’t stopped any of them from gagging after finding out the meaning behind the comment she’d made to him without even thinking about it. And it probably wouldn’t have spiralled out of control had it not been for the fact that her husband is an absolute idiot who couldn’t face off against the power of his “daughters” desires to know more. Or to save their “children” from hearing about their parents’ sex life. 

It had started fairly innocently, Phil had taken a while when making her tea and his coffee, and so, she had called out to him, asking if making hot beverages was another aspect of undercover work which he hadn’t learnt at the Communications Academy. And although he’d sent her a dirty look whilst he walked in with the mugs, he’d pressed a kiss to the top of her head and rolled his eyes, settling down beside her on the couch. But of course, with three very nosy “children”, as well as the very irritating “boyfriend” of their “son” around, there was no way that the comment would go amiss, and soon Daisy was bugging Mel to tell her what she meant by it being ‘another aspect’.

While Phil had insisted profusely that none of them would find out about it, Mel knew it was only a matter of seconds before he’d be on the receiving end of _the_ Daisy Johnson puppy dog eyes, and if he was very unlucky, it’d be compounded by _the_ Jemma Simmons puppy dog look, causing him to crack in mere moments. For some unknown reason, Fitz only seemed to sink into the couch he and Hunter were sitting in, face burning bright as he silently pleaded for Phil not to give in. And just as Mel had predicted, Phil cracked under the weight of the looks, and unhappily motioned for her to explain the story behind the joke, Fitz looking like he wanted the ground to swallow him up whole. 

“When we were rookies, a long time ago, Phil and I went on an undercover op together, where we were husband and wife. And one night, we were almost made, and so we did what we thought was the best thing to get them off of our tail, and get caught making out in a corridor. For whatever reason, Phil insists it was due to him being gentlemanly, he took over two minutes to unhook my bra strap, by which point they caught us and then left us be.”

The girls’ reaction was almost instantaneous, Daisy faking being sick while Jemma looks somewhat pale at the implications of the story. Meanwhile on the opposite couch, Fitz was almost neon red, his head nuzzled into Hunter’s chest to block out the story, while the mercenary nearly does a spit take at the blasé way that May recounted the origin of the joke. As Phil went to explain his side of the story, Daisy held her hand up to silence him, pulling a shaken Jemma off of the couch before sprinting away from the common room, Daisy chanting the word ‘gross’ in order to distract herself from remembering the story.

“So Fitz, how did you know what I was going to say?” Mel asked just as the Brits got up to go back to their shared bunk.

“Um, so, at the Academy, for one of my coding electives, we had to create multilayer Trojan Horses that could erase SHIELD CCTV should other parties get their hands on it. And to test this, Agent Hill gave us access to footage of you and Coulson when you were younger, said it was to make us less scared of senior agents such as yourself. So, I heard that conversation a lot. Among other things. Anyway goodnight.”

As he sprinted away, Hunter stood in the common room at an absolute loss until he realised that Fitz had already left without him, waving at May and Coulson as he strolled out of the room, leaving the married couple in peace.

“I’m going to kill her Phil.”

“You’re the one who told the kids what actually happened! You couldn’t think of anything better to say?”

Shrugging her shoulders, Mel ignores her husband’s complaints of “the kids are never going to be able to look me in the eye again!” and “I just got Fitzsimmons to stop calling me Sir and avoiding eye contact!” in favour of scheming over which way would be the best to kill Maria Hill. If she told Nat that Maria had shared her videos too, Mel’s sure she could get Black Widow’s help with her cause.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed! Let me know what you thought & come find me on [ Tumblr](https://acetoshikosato.tumblr.com/)! Thanks for reading!!
> 
> Jae <3


End file.
